Friday 3 April 2009!
HandWritten on; 02:52
i really don't know how to describe my feeling right now.
hope no one will read this post since i never update it since million years ago...
it is really shocking to hear all those words that were suppose to come from your come from another person....
i mean we are a gang now. we should share whatever we think of each other right?
not just keep to yourselves and tell someone tell me. it is really disappointing.
i am not angry or wat so ever, i am just really disappointed.
i will be so much grateful if ur to approach me and tell me what i do wrong or areas that i should improve on ...
i have so much faith in your and now.... i really don't know wat to say..
i think this kind of things happen in the first was all because we care. we had let our imagination run wild. thinking that each other has been discussing ic things at home and had left out the rest of us . but in the actual fact, it was not like that.
the reason why i always wanted meeting is because i want everyone to be included.
sometimes it is really disappointing to hear everyone keep rushing me to end the meeting, i mean the point of meeting is not only just let us discuss the details but also let us bond together. i am really sorry if i did not take ur suggestion and continue with my plan. it is not because that ur suggestion is not good or everyone sided me. it is purely because that i think it is better to so it another way. and i really hope that ur would understand that during meeting there isn't anything like u sided who. if you were to be correct,obviously we will take u idea. pls don't feel excluded just because u feel that u contributed nothing and u are always turn down by me.
i confess that i am a very stubborn person and sometimes even i cant stand myself too. i really need ur help to come and me and say" hey i think ur way would not work. stop being so stubborn" things like that may make me feel better cos at least i know ur are trying to ur best to do something that is good for ic.
really, pls don't feel that the meeting was useless because that everyone is unfair.
i really hope and pray that ur will not think this way because during the meeting everyone had a say.it is not about who we support but it is about what we do is good for the club. really hope that ur would understand me.
i really want to apologise to ur that i change your idea completely. u know u put in lots of effort. i did not do it purposely too. i never ever think that ur work is not up to standard. really, trust me....
it is just that somethings happen and i change it for purpose. i never thought that that would bring such pain for u. and sometimes,i don't really know what u are thinking. u keep everything to yourself and tell someone that is closer to you. but sometimes i need to know how u feel so that in the future i will not make that mistake again. by doing this we are actually giving each other more trust. sometimes
it is just really good to be straight forward, i know that might be hard on you.
i know that this is incident had affect lot of us.and we all know that fact we will not be the same as how we treated each other last time. the least i could do know is let everyone know how i feel and i think we should forget all these. lessons and things that we learnt still got to remember though....
i know i am not the only got affected, everyone had a hard time to sleep last night. thinking how i feel when i was told how ur feel by another people.
thinking if u had hurt me or even knowing that the fact that i might even hate ur.
yes! i am hurt totally to the extreme. i might even wanted to hate ur.
but in the end we are still friends....
PS: let Monday to be fresh new start!!
